"Don't Be a Sissy"

Those were the words of my brother yesterday as she tried to talk me into meeting him at the tattoo shop on Tuesday. I've always wanted this (I never known how to describe it) bird on my foot. It's a necklace I paid $10 for at a yard sale. It was a bit pricier than what I would usually pay but it called to me. I knew it would be one of those finds that I would love the rest of my life. My children will finger it when I'm gone, knowing that my essence is still in it.
$10 is a steal of a deal for essence.

Anyway, I've always wanted it on my foot; the top of my foot to be exact.
It's going to hurt like hell but pain has a whole different meaning to me now. I compare everything to labor and immediately feel better. If I can handle labor, I can handle a tattoo on my foot. At least I'll know when the tattoo will end, unlike labor which stretches on and on and on...

Oliver is starting his "Ga Ga Ga" 's . It is utterly precious. Every time he does it (usually to the dogs or his toy) Anthony and I look at each other with astonished faces. Our baby will be talking soon. We've got to stop cussing.

We want to send Oliver to Landmark which means he can't curse the damn toys when they break or even use my watered down version of cussing by just saying F. As in, I hate this F'ing song. As funny as I may think it is, I have a feeling Landmark teachers will be phoning me with concerned, slightly (overly) judgmental tones. And then all my authority issues will flare up again, sprouting from my Landmark days...except it will be intensified (You may have been able to control my behavior when I was a teenager but you CANNOT tell me how to raise my kid..) and Anthony will have to take the phone out of my hand and apologize profusely.

Why would I want to send my kid there you may wonder? Well, I may have been controlled a little too much for my liking. I may have graduated a completely pompous, righteous a-hole but damn, I was smart. I was overly prepared for college. My freshman year, at West Georgia, I had a history class taught by a teacher that used to teach at an Ivy league school (can't remember it now). He said our final paper was going to be like 5 pages, double spaced. I looked around to see if he was joking. Students groan with shock, "5 whole pages, double spaces? That is so much!"
I was writing 10 paged research papers my freshman year. I could write 5 pages in my sleep. And then, after the first test, he read my test answer out loud so that other's could know what he was looking for in an answer to an essay question. I made a 100 on that test.
And it was all because of Landmark. I skipped like 90% of my college classes and only made 2 C's in college taking 18 hours a semester. Landmark taught me how to learn, how to study, how to test and how to apply myself. High school kicked my ass but I was over-prepared when College was concerned. It was awesome!
Also, going to a safe, private school allowed me some freedom other public schools in our area wouldn't allow. There were no fights or bullying. We could carry our book bags every where. We could leave campus to go to Dairy Queen in yearbook and on Senior Lunch Days on some Fridays. Landmark felt very much like a throw back to the 50's (concerning safety) and I very much want Oliver to have that.

Boy, I don't know how I went from tattoo's to Landmark, but with this blog I let it flow.

I Like My Life

I know a lot of us out there are going through this 'quarter-life' crisis. We've been told we can do anything, be anyone and have it all. The reality is, life doesn't turn out the way you thought it would. Sometimes it's better.

I have two versions of myself. One is a big city living publishing giant. That may come one day. I've realized that life is too big to fit into one chapter. Everything changes. So I'm going to enjoy my life the way it is now knowing that one day it will be completely different. I used to have this faith and things always worked out. I lost that faith for a while. Now I know, I know, things will work out. It's nice to feel that way again.

The other half is the small town girl. I used to be embarressed that I work for the City that I grew up in. Now, with half the country out of a job, I'm happy. It may not be what I saw for my life, but then again, my life's not over. Who knows what tomorrow may bring. That thought makes me smile.

I like my life. I like that when I pull into the driveway, Anthony is usually waiting for me on the back porch swing. I like that he knows I like that.
I like that I live a mile from work and can do a load of laundry on my lunchbreak.
I like that Oliver is never in daycare and because of that, being a working mom doesn't make me feel guilty. I like knowing (and being ok with) that being a stay at home Mom would make me a worse mother.

I like that my house is small but sturdy and in our back yard hangs a pink mimosa tree.
I like that I can't pick my nose driving around Fairburn because someone I know will see me. Yes, it's that small of a town.
I like that half of those people can picture me as alittle girl.
I like that I have history with Fairburn. That Amanda and Vanessa can stumble across a picture of me ten years ago in an old newspaper and laugh.
I like that my parents are still so heavily involved in my life yet I am on my own. I never thought I could make a decision without them and it's powerful to know how very capable I am.

I like that I know my brother, Michael, loves me (almost) more than anything in this world. My cup runneth over for him.

I like that my cup runneth over.

I like that my son is 9 months old and has never been sick (knock on wood)
I like that Oliver can play the drums on Boo Radley's belly.
I like that my husband is a well respected member of my hometown. I like that it's now his hometown.
I like that he does good in this world and that everyonce in a while he get's a thank you card from a stranger he's helped.
I like that he's my husband.

So all you out there, take heed. Life is not going to be this way forever. I encourage you to think hard about the things you like about the life you're living now. You never know when things will change. And you don't want to spend all your time dwelling on the things you don't like. That doesn't help you at all.

Peace and 'Like'
Have a good weekend.