Doors and Windows

My job didn't go as I thought it would, I didn't get the promotion I was groomed for. I'm not going to go into it; the anger rises like bile and it's hard for me to think around it. It's not about pride, about having to train my supervisor. Its about losing out on a raise that would make life easier to live, that would have been a stepping stone to climbing out of this hole that's been dug for us. It's about the fact that I'm 25 ("Four years older than my son," as one of my supervisors pointed out) and the fact that I have no 'managerial skills'.
When I called the bestest, her words were like balm to my blistered pride, "You are not meant to be here. This is a message telling you to get out! You will look back one day and be so glad you didn't get that position, so glad you didn't get stuck!"
So I've been applying like crazy, staring down a phone that just won't ring and grasping to my dreams, my nose in my laptop every single night, the words and ideas coming slowly, but surely.
It smarts like a smack to the nose every time I come to work; to know that I was groomed to take this position and then to have it snatched away. It's a hard lesson to learn, but one we must: life isn't fair.
I've always known I was destined for bigger things. I'm not talking about my pre-teen aspirations of being a rock-star; no, for me, I want a smaller life, with lots of children and a career that will provide with me a way to take care of them. A large house with my own office (to write of course, the quiet dream I find hard to speak of--the one I feel I'm destined towards).
I've found that when you have a child, your priorities shift. I want a job to grow in to, that fulfills me, that doesn't treat me as a second class citizen just because I'm young and vibrant and opinionated.
I deserve better than this place; I see that now.
So if any of you see any open windows, please give me a shove. I'm finally at a place now where I'm ready to jump.