Thankful #4

Thankful#4: God and good suspension

It would have been a very different kind of year.
Driving in my Honda SUV
A typical Tuesday morning.
Around a curve, a car crosses the line.
I wait, expect for them to correct.
They don't.
We're nose to nose, and they keep coming.
My hasty honk startles them
They swerve.
Too late.
I'm in all lanes
Titter-Tottering lane to lane
Trying to avoid the drop off-
bed of rocks;
where I will inevitable flip
and land on my hood.
No doubt.
My other option
A cluster of trees
I'm trying to slow down
but everything locks.
I'm in the other lane.
Then mine.
Then the other.
Praying for the absence of cars.
Because I can't see them.
And they can't see me.
And I am calm
and everything is clear
and slow moving
but my mind is screaming,
"Oliver's in the car!"
And I acknowledge calmly
that we are going to flip.
The way my car is moving,
we are going to flip.
There is no doubt.
In my clear head, I see his life.
Not even 4 months old.
And my life, not finished,
like his,
just begun.
Only 4 months of joy,
of happiness.
Not enough.
I look in my rear-view mirror
as my car spirals out of control.
I see the blue offender
round the curve,
no brake lights
even though we are destined to crash.
Just seconds have passed.
The baby is still asleep.
And my car slows.
Behind are dark stains
of where I was headed.
It was as if something heavy
had slowed us from above.
The hand of God?
We should have gone off the road.
We should have flipped.
It would have been a very different kind of year.
I have no doubt he would have been taken from me;
As a mother, I think you know
when you have escaped death,
by a hairs breath.
When your life
would have been destroyed.
As a mother,
you are aware
of when God has given you
a second chance
to be a mother.
It has been a very good year.
So I'm thankful
for God's hands;
second chances;

and good suspension.