Thankful #19

Thankful #19: Target

Michelle and Me, Target, Circa 2003

Oh come on, you know you're thankful for it too.

Among my girlfriends, my Mom and I, we have a tradition, one that has been carried on for years. It's a simple thing--admission is free--if you can avoid the temptation.

It all starts with a simple question, "Want to go walk around Target?"

It has become a form of physical activity as well as bonding for me and countless friends. Before I had a baby, I used to get up early and be at Target as soon as the doors opened. Then I would bumble for an hour, enjoying the smell of clean, new merchandise and the small, simple pleasure of walking aisle to aisle without bumping into anyone, just waiting for those delightful orange tags to catch my eye. It's how I Christmas shop all through the year. It clears my head. It helps me think. I stalk the employee's who are tagging new markdowns. And when I leave, I usually walk away with $10 worth of victory--boosting my spirits.

Yes, I am an abuser of retail therapy and it feels so good.

I have been known to travel to every Target within my area (that would be Newnan, Fayetteville, Camp Creek, Tyrone and sometimes Douglasville if I'm really desperate) in one weekend on a clearance bargain hunt. I get obsessed. The longest-running one was the blue basket hunt of 2007. I ended up buying too many, most of which are stacked within each other, empty and unused (for now...)

And I can tell you which Target has the best deals depending on what you're looking for.

For example, Newnan has the best clearance on clothes, hands down. Usually there are racks upon racks, ranging from 30% to the coveted 75% off. My heart thumps harder just thinking about it.

(Anth says I get a wild animal look--My eyes become crazed with the adrenaline of the hunt--he knows to step back and hand over the money--because nothings getting in the way of me and a good deal)

Campcreek has the best deal on seasonal decorations after the season is over.

The one at Lenox (two glorious levels, mind you) has a great selection of hip maternity wear (well, they all do--but Lenox seems to have the most--and if you're bigger like me, a lot of our sizes since Lenox-shoppers tend to be very thin)

And once a year, season's deviating, if you're really lucky, you'll happen to be in store when they mark down all the shoes. Racks upon racks of in-season shoes. I've never had the pleasure. Amanda has been lucky enough to experience such a delight. I shook my fist in envy when I got the message from her. Alas, by the time I made it, the best shoes were gone.

I have memorized the exact location of clearance for each department--one I dare not divulge to you lesser of Target customers--why should I share years of learned knowledge with novices? You might get the last of the clearanced things--the one thing I didn't know I needed until the neon orange told me otherwise. I'm a fierce competitor in the shopping arena as well as a biter so watch out.

My face should be plastered on a sign as you walk in--I've contributed to keeping Target afloat in a bad economy. I could be a Target-consumption expert. On the other hand, I could be a cautionary tale: the woman who raised her baby in Target.

But come on...can you really blame me? Target is that fabulous.